Start of The Brainstorm
I hate telling this story because it makes me feel small. Plus its cliche and boring but here it is. I was barely 16 and I was dating my first boyfriend. After 6 months he texted my friend and asked her to break up with me for him. Yeah, I know, he was gross and immature and the worst but either way he meant a lot to 16 year old me. I had no idea how to deal with heartbreak so I just cried and cried like a dramatic teenager for a week or so. I had a really yucky feeling in my stomach and I didn't know what it was.
I started writing little fragments and emo phrases in my notebooks at school. I would add to them and edit them and look at them and doodle on them. On February 22, 2017, I wrote and posted my first poem on an anonymous Instagram account. It was about anger that it felt like waves in an ocean, very artsy and creative, I know. But no matter how cheesy or depressing my writing was, it made me feel like I got rid of those feelings/ helped me make sense of my feelings. I completely fell in love with it. I got to do something that I loved that nobody else had to know about. I used my feelings to power my writing and I let loose writing whatever I wanted. It was my little thing. My little place to be wholly me.